Time to grow up.....
A funny thing happened to me this weekend. I had been joking with some of my 2nd cousin's (who call me "Unlce Skeetz") about how I should not be relating to them. I usually make it a point to speak to them as if they are adults, and I enjoy talking about music and culture with them all. The "older generation," ranges in age from 14 to 20. I enjoy these conversations just as much as I do conversing with my adult first cousins (their parents). Well, until we are so drunk that we sound like 80 year old blues musicians and we become inaudible.
So, I recently did some online research. Actually, is there any other way to do research in this day and age? I went on some blogs and read some postings of people my age (I am 35). I then ran an attitude and behavior analysis of the median of the mean of people in my age range. I found out that I am far more immature than my peers.
This brought me to a conclusion that I have spoken with some of the 2nd cousins about (Especially Pooke's 2 oldest children Bobby and Jackie). I told them that I can no longer talk about topics that may remotely interest them. I have to now ask them questions about school and tell them that they are getting bigger. I will tell them horrific stories of how they shit themselves at a family function when they were babies. I will inform them of some stupid act that they did as toddlers that the adults found cute at the time and really make them puke! Lastly, I will speak to them in that "older relative condescending manner," that really lets them know that while I am asking them about school, it is only because I can no longer relate to them on any real level and I truly bring nothing else to the table. And, of course, I will only have the biggest, fakest smile on while talking to them that resembles a piano being stuck in my mouth!
This is the first real step to me finally becoming mature. The next step will be to start watching a lot of popular television shows and only listening to Top 40 (or Country) music. I will move into a neighborhood with cookie cutter houses and say hello to my neighbor "Tom," every morning before work. I will start eating healthy. I will go out and get the Sunday paper in dress socks and my slippers with the rubber bottoms. I will also buy several IZOD shirts and horrible white leather sneakers. I'm starting to get the hang of this mature thing.
So, I recently did some online research. Actually, is there any other way to do research in this day and age? I went on some blogs and read some postings of people my age (I am 35). I then ran an attitude and behavior analysis of the median of the mean of people in my age range. I found out that I am far more immature than my peers.
This brought me to a conclusion that I have spoken with some of the 2nd cousins about (Especially Pooke's 2 oldest children Bobby and Jackie). I told them that I can no longer talk about topics that may remotely interest them. I have to now ask them questions about school and tell them that they are getting bigger. I will tell them horrific stories of how they shit themselves at a family function when they were babies. I will inform them of some stupid act that they did as toddlers that the adults found cute at the time and really make them puke! Lastly, I will speak to them in that "older relative condescending manner," that really lets them know that while I am asking them about school, it is only because I can no longer relate to them on any real level and I truly bring nothing else to the table. And, of course, I will only have the biggest, fakest smile on while talking to them that resembles a piano being stuck in my mouth!
This is the first real step to me finally becoming mature. The next step will be to start watching a lot of popular television shows and only listening to Top 40 (or Country) music. I will move into a neighborhood with cookie cutter houses and say hello to my neighbor "Tom," every morning before work. I will start eating healthy. I will go out and get the Sunday paper in dress socks and my slippers with the rubber bottoms. I will also buy several IZOD shirts and horrible white leather sneakers. I'm starting to get the hang of this mature thing.
posted by Skeets at
5:54 PM
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