The King of Pop is dead.

My mornings will never be the same. Snap, Crackle, Snap, Crackle, Snap Crackle - why do I suddenly feel like I need to call my mother?

Wrong place, right time

Well, I guess we all learn from our mistakes. Though I got a slight thrill from my my little invite... , I realize that I can't really do what I want to over there at Morristowngreen.com. Not because of anything Star Ledger people did.... they are actually very nice and have given me license to do whatever I want. But it's just not the right forum for this flavor of blogging and I certainly can't do there what I can do here. So, that being said, I'll link my friend with his link to the coolest second grade teacher in the world.The blurry red/white thing that shows up here and there would be my baby.

Relocating

Don't ask me how or why, I've been invited to blog at nj.com. These people are nuts for inviting me to blog with journalists, considering I'm a friggin idiot. But here I go. Links promised... but I'm not promising anything interesting or entertaining. They'll post anything there.

Behind the Lines

A distraction.

Change of the Guard

So, when I went to log into the Blog and post something of little value to any human being, I was informed that I now need a Google password as well! Apparently, Google has purchased this Blog spot. Go figure. First Youtube, then Blogspot. I haven't read the "new," terms and conditions that I have accepted, but I am certain that it is something to protect Google from having their already over-inflated stock be brought down by anything that an idiot like myself would spill through my keyboard and onto the site. I would also tend to believe that somewhere in there it states that if I ever run for any political office under any party that they deem conservative, they have express consent to sell and "creatively edit," any of my postings to the New York Times. This will ensure that the trend will continue to make any conservative viewpoint look insane and can open it up to more sarcasm and wit.

Speaking of the Left Wing Times, imagine if this was the US and not Switzerland. It is clearly no big deal to anyone. However, if it was the US, The Times would find a way to have it hit the front page! Also, they would no doubt "find," somebody to talk about how their children are going to be living in fear for the remainder of their natural lives and will most likely become hermits too afraid to leave their homes after the day that they witnessed the Imperialistic American Empire coming through the woods towards their home!! Do you think that the word "Accidentally," would be in the title of the article?

R.I.P. Godfather of Soul....

These people really do exist!!!

This is great! A conspiracy theorist (who "specializes," in 9/11 conspiracies) who has a blog explaining why we all have the incorrect notion of Conspiracy Theorists! However, my interpretation of what I read was "Yes, we are INSANE Conspiracy Theorists who don't want to be called crazy. Just because we are, doesn't mean that you can call us crazy!"

Rory Sweeney and little boys

I have a video of Times Leader reporter Rory Sweeney and what he did to Jerri Lipski when the interview took place. He makes these kids sound like the All-American little boys who just need a chance when I will personally bet him a year's salary that one if not both end up in jail before they are 21. His putrid salary or mine!

Simple idiocy, not deep rooted conspiracy!

I haven't written anything in quite some time. I apologize. I just got out of the hospital after Pooke accidentally shot me during a hunting excursion that we embarked on at the Morristown Green. I appreciate all of the letters of support from friends, family, and concerned citizens. I do want to stress that this was an accident, and not some deep, greater conspiracy. I read some of the conspiracy theories on some rival blog sites, and I want to put some rumors to rest.

First, the reason that Pooke did not immediately call The President and alert him that she shot me was, well she had to get me to a hospital and inform my other family members what happened. Oh yeah, also, she doesn't have the President's direct phone number. However, phone records will show that she did try to call the White House 68 times on the morning of February 14th. Either she was going to report the incident to GW or she wanted to ensure that he received her Valentine's Day card and she was hoping hers was the funniest one he received this year.

Second, the rumor is true that doctors could not remove all of the bird shot from my body. A piece is still lodged in my right testicle, but doctors felt that it wasn't worth removing the metal fragment, or the testicle. They tell me that the testicle will still function normally. The only side effect is that we may have to name a future child "Iron Man." This is OK with me, as I am a big fan of Black Sabbath. It is a good thing that the testicle can still function, because as most of you who know me may remember, I had to remove my left one when a night of heavy drinking in 1982 led to a piercing gone wrong incident!

Lastly, the reason that Pooke did not face the media herself, but instead had her press secretary (Bob Jr.) give status reports was that she was herself suffering from a bout with avian Bird Flu. However, Pooke has completely recovered and is back on the road to health. Who knew that tar and nicotine had antibodies within them that counter-acted the HN-51 outbreak? Coincidentally, CNN is reporting that George W Bush is completely responsible for Avian Bird Flu and have received documents from new consultant Dan Rather proving that HN-51 was developed at the President's ranch in Texas. Several mothers of deceased victims of the deadly disease have gathered in protest outside of the ranch. Joan Baez (yes, she's still alive) is going to be giving a benefit concert and will be handing out veggie and soy corn dogs outside of the ranch also. Oliver Stone will be filming the event, as he is on a dare from Tom Cruise to make a movie worse than Alexander!

I would like to thank the wonderful surgical staff and beautiful and talented Michelle Malkin for appearing on Fox News and really explaining how the idiotic media blew this all out of proportion. It dumbfounds me that people actually tried to find a deeper conspiracy in an accident that occurred in an enjoyable trip while hunting homeless people.

So, again, I am back and in good health. Thank you.

FINALLY!

OK, as a chronic complainer that there are never any mainstream movies or television that has a generally Conservative overtone, I have finally found a good movie. Anybody who shares in these feelings that most popular media is largely and bluntly slanted to the left, should not only rent, but BUY the movie "Team America: World Police!" This movie was a wet dream for anybody who is sick and tired of only the right being a target of sarcasm and made to look stupid. So, while Alec Baldwin hosts Saturday Night Live for the 19th time this year trying to keep himself "hip," Team America exposes him (and Sean Penn, Helen Hunt, Tim Robbins, and Susan Serandon for that matter) for the annoying idiots that they truly have become.

It is great to watch, and quite funny (and has one of the most disturbingly funny sex scene's of all time). Personally, I am amazed that this movie got made and sincerely hope that Trey Parker and Matt Stone do not get blacklisted for doing this movie. I urge anybody who reads this (yes, both of you) to go buy that movie and support the fact that somebody finally had the stones to have some fun at the left's expense. The only thing that would be better is that if the actual actors who the movie portrays actually met the fate that they fall to in this movie! But, dreams only come true one at a time!

Back from Vacation

Well, glad to see that Pooke and Bob have made it back from Aruba safe and sound. Nice tans.......

Now, they have crossed the line....

I grew up amongst the first generation of video gamers. Even at 36, I still have an XBox and it provides me not only hours of amusement, but an avenue for stress relief. I am of an age now where harsh language and violence not only doesn't bother me, but I actually like to have it (OK - A LOT of it) in my video games, radio, movies, television, and any other avenue of entertainment. So, I recently was playing an older game that I was trying to finish (yes, I still get competitive and take it personally if I cannot complete a video game) called Max Payne 2.

I was in heaven. Shooting people point blank in the face with a shotgun, even taking out some innocent bystanders simply because I could! After killing people, I would continue to shoot them until their bodies blow apart in a complete bloody mess! Then, a scene comes up where Max and the female character in the game have a romantic interlude. It then cuts to a movie like sequence where I have to watch instead of play. Then, to my horror and disgust, I see a brief flash of nipple from the female character. Being an American, I easily understand the need for violence, but SEX??? What is this country coming to??? I was mortified. I looked at the game label and it did say "M" for mature, but nothing regarding nudity. It only stated that it contained "Mature sexual themes." Going back to my high school days, I thought that mature sexual themes was kissing and second base outside of a girls sweater! Was Senator Clinton correct in starting a bill that sets aside federal funding to seek out the sources of such horrid acts within these video games??? So, Federal Funding to wipe out violence in nudity in video games is a must, but funding to remove an evil dictator and his "insurgents," is unnecessary??? Hmmm, THAT makes sense!

Not to mention that had I known there would be actual nudity, I would have made sure I was home alone with a bunch of tissues close by!!! Oh well, enough of THAT rant, I have to go return the Playboy game that I rented to Blockbuster before they charge me full price for it. That is what they do now to make up revenue lost by not charging late fees!!!

Dems hoping for deadly winter

AP (I mean if it is from the AP, it HAS to be real), South Dakota - Tom Daschle, former House Majority Leader, recently spoke regarding the Democrats plan for the next 6 months. "Well, we were really hoping that Rita did much more damage so we could point out the fact that President Bush only responds quickly when there is a tragedy in his home state." Since that did not happen, the Democrats quickly had to re-focus their efforts and try to come up with an alternate plan to criticize the President.

"Well, we have to look at the bright side," stated Daschle on the phone from his posh South Dakota mansion, "we could have major snow storms that cause white-out's in red states and hopefully bring about pileups on their interstate's." Daschle also remarked, "Then, we can say that the President cannot truly care about his constituents or he would have gotten more warning and supplied that state with more road salt." "The more death and destruction, the better our position."

Daschle did remark that the Dems will continue to employ the same strategy of continuous criticism and not change to a strategy of producing their own solutions to issues. "Why would we try to fix anything?" Daschle asked, "the current policy of finger pointing is working." "The Presidents approval rating is way down according to the New York Times, The Village Voice, Ebony and the Gay and Lesbian Advocate!"

So, you want a conspiracy?

I apologize (again) for not contributing to this on a more regular basis, but I have been doing tons of research in my spare time to try and uncover on of the greatest political and genocidal conspiracies of all time. No, this conspiracy is not the conspiracy of the left wing media using natural disasters to take pot-shots at a standing President. Nor is it the conspiracy of that same media that tries to turn the public on its own military. No, this one reaches far deeper than those. It is the Chinese attempt to destroy the United States of America through an intriguing web of mathematically figured, stategically placed Chinese restaurants.

I wont get into all of the research findings just yet, but I can quote a few facts from the New England Journal of Medicine (I would footnote the date of the article, but I haven't yet figured out how in a blog to do so) that states that obesity has risen 39% since 1975. Ironically, 1975 was the year that will forever be known as "The year in which Chinese food became mainstream!" Being somewhat frugal people in nature, Chinese restaurants use to have the customer pay more for the white rice that is now given out for free. When asked why, Iron Chef first round loser Tommy Wha Chu said (under the strict condition of anonymity) that "Yes, the decision was made to give free rice when it was discovered that an overload of carbs and the already excruciating fat content of the food would destroy a human heart much faster!"

Tommy also states that the reason that the Chinese are doing this, is because the Chinese Government asked that Mr. Magoo reruns not be shown anymore in this country because many people would mis-interpret and them think that he is Chinese. He also states that there is also a finding that too much starch in a man's collar can slowly and chemically cause sterility. Putting this into context means that in the next 100 years, the Chinese will have 16 times the amount of children born than the US.

Hopefully, with the addition of several new Casino's, the deregulation of the tobacco industry, and further integration of their youth into urban society, we will be able to counter some of these measures.

More to follow..........I have to now go drive the fortune cookie truck to the restaurants to keep my cover..........

Click the Image for a Larger View

The memorial sits about 1/2 mile up the road from where I live. 64 of the victims of 9/11 were from my county here in New Jersey.



They were construction workers, they were secretaries, they were businessmen, firefighters....



they were Marines.



The beams are actual pieces of the tower. When you get up close, you can almost imagine the horror of being trapped inside, or falling a hundred stories amongst the burning wreckage.



Scroll down

Soil from the site of the attack on the Pentagon, as well as debris from Flight 93 are on display as well.

There are 64 names on the memorial, each victim whose murder caused a great deal of pain and grief for their loved ones. I wish I could have known each one. What type of people were they? Judging from the amount of tears dropped in the reflecting pool, I'm going to guess they were very good people.

You can meet one of them in the post below.