So, you want a conspiracy?
I apologize (again) for not contributing to this on a more regular basis, but I have been doing tons of research in my spare time to try and uncover on of the greatest political and genocidal conspiracies of all time. No, this conspiracy is not the conspiracy of the left wing media using natural disasters to take pot-shots at a standing President. Nor is it the conspiracy of that same media that tries to turn the public on its own military. No, this one reaches far deeper than those. It is the Chinese attempt to destroy the United States of America through an intriguing web of mathematically figured, stategically placed Chinese restaurants.
I wont get into all of the research findings just yet, but I can quote a few facts from the New England Journal of Medicine (I would footnote the date of the article, but I haven't yet figured out how in a blog to do so) that states that obesity has risen 39% since 1975. Ironically, 1975 was the year that will forever be known as "The year in which Chinese food became mainstream!" Being somewhat frugal people in nature, Chinese restaurants use to have the customer pay more for the white rice that is now given out for free. When asked why, Iron Chef first round loser Tommy Wha Chu said (under the strict condition of anonymity) that "Yes, the decision was made to give free rice when it was discovered that an overload of carbs and the already excruciating fat content of the food would destroy a human heart much faster!"
Tommy also states that the reason that the Chinese are doing this, is because the Chinese Government asked that Mr. Magoo reruns not be shown anymore in this country because many people would mis-interpret and them think that he is Chinese. He also states that there is also a finding that too much starch in a man's collar can slowly and chemically cause sterility. Putting this into context means that in the next 100 years, the Chinese will have 16 times the amount of children born than the US.
Hopefully, with the addition of several new Casino's, the deregulation of the tobacco industry, and further integration of their youth into urban society, we will be able to counter some of these measures.
More to follow..........I have to now go drive the fortune cookie truck to the restaurants to keep my cover..........
I wont get into all of the research findings just yet, but I can quote a few facts from the New England Journal of Medicine (I would footnote the date of the article, but I haven't yet figured out how in a blog to do so) that states that obesity has risen 39% since 1975. Ironically, 1975 was the year that will forever be known as "The year in which Chinese food became mainstream!" Being somewhat frugal people in nature, Chinese restaurants use to have the customer pay more for the white rice that is now given out for free. When asked why, Iron Chef first round loser Tommy Wha Chu said (under the strict condition of anonymity) that "Yes, the decision was made to give free rice when it was discovered that an overload of carbs and the already excruciating fat content of the food would destroy a human heart much faster!"
Tommy also states that the reason that the Chinese are doing this, is because the Chinese Government asked that Mr. Magoo reruns not be shown anymore in this country because many people would mis-interpret and them think that he is Chinese. He also states that there is also a finding that too much starch in a man's collar can slowly and chemically cause sterility. Putting this into context means that in the next 100 years, the Chinese will have 16 times the amount of children born than the US.
Hopefully, with the addition of several new Casino's, the deregulation of the tobacco industry, and further integration of their youth into urban society, we will be able to counter some of these measures.
More to follow..........I have to now go drive the fortune cookie truck to the restaurants to keep my cover..........
posted by Skeets at
7:57 PM
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