Kid Cuisine
Is definately not kid friendly. Jessica spotted this little gem in the frozen food isle whilst shopping today. There was a yellow robot on the cover (from the movie, of course), and my 5 year old Prednisone fueld offspring nearly shot straight out of the shopping cart screaming like she just spotted Paul McCartney. I selflessly determined it would be better to spend the $3.95 on this little tray of mystery food items than to attempt to calm with Daffy Duck on steroids at checkout.
First off, I don't know why they call it Kid Cuisine. No kid can make this stuff. I can whip up a lasagne with less instruction. To nuke a Kid Cuisine you must perform about 47 steps, including but not limited to: using a dangerous, sharp object to surgically cut the plastic off everything but the corn (otherwise you might ruin the corn), removing and reinserting the "Nugget Shaped Breaded White Chicken Patties with rib meat", letting stand in the microwave for 2 minutes, not 1, not 3, but 2, and removing from your microwave with teflon coated space mits because "THE PRODUCT WILL BE HOT" (and they are not shitting you, I promise).
So after the 1 minute of nuking the macncheesestuffwithoutthefilm, the stuff that it supposed to be a brownie and the film covered corn, than the 2 mintues with the "Nugget Shaped Breaded White Chicken Patties with rib meat", then the 2 minutes (not 1, not 3, but 2 minutes) of sitting in the microwave so the exploded macncheese can set like tiny cement particles that cannot be removed with hydrychloric acid adhese themselves to my microwave door, we are ready to
um
frost the brownie.
Quoting babypred: "Mommy, I want to make a smiley face with the frosting".
Jim, don't read this.
FrostedBrownie looked a lot like a compilation of bodily excrements. Two specific excrements, both of which we have all seen and one which you may not want to admit that you have. I had to give her this weird concoction in the playroom, because honestly I couldn't watch her eat this. It looked more like a nightmare that Steve might have.
She actually ate most of the stuff, with the exception of the corn. Maybe I should
have taken the film off; I'm not sure. But hey if I'm lucky, maybe I'll win the prize advertized on the box: $1.00, that's right, a 1 in 100 chance of winning ONE DOLLAR off a child's movie admission to the Robot movie.
At least there's a cool Robot Card we can cut off the back of the box.
First off, I don't know why they call it Kid Cuisine. No kid can make this stuff. I can whip up a lasagne with less instruction. To nuke a Kid Cuisine you must perform about 47 steps, including but not limited to: using a dangerous, sharp object to surgically cut the plastic off everything but the corn (otherwise you might ruin the corn), removing and reinserting the "Nugget Shaped Breaded White Chicken Patties with rib meat", letting stand in the microwave for 2 minutes, not 1, not 3, but 2, and removing from your microwave with teflon coated space mits because "THE PRODUCT WILL BE HOT" (and they are not shitting you, I promise).
So after the 1 minute of nuking the macncheesestuffwithoutthefilm, the stuff that it supposed to be a brownie and the film covered corn, than the 2 mintues with the "Nugget Shaped Breaded White Chicken Patties with rib meat", then the 2 minutes (not 1, not 3, but 2 minutes) of sitting in the microwave so the exploded macncheese can set like tiny cement particles that cannot be removed with hydrychloric acid adhese themselves to my microwave door, we are ready to
um
frost the brownie.
Quoting babypred: "Mommy, I want to make a smiley face with the frosting".
Jim, don't read this.
FrostedBrownie looked a lot like a compilation of bodily excrements. Two specific excrements, both of which we have all seen and one which you may not want to admit that you have. I had to give her this weird concoction in the playroom, because honestly I couldn't watch her eat this. It looked more like a nightmare that Steve might have.
She actually ate most of the stuff, with the exception of the corn. Maybe I should
have taken the film off; I'm not sure. But hey if I'm lucky, maybe I'll win the prize advertized on the box: $1.00, that's right, a 1 in 100 chance of winning ONE DOLLAR off a child's movie admission to the Robot movie.
At least there's a cool Robot Card we can cut off the back of the box.
posted by Pooke at
8:31 PM
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