Happy Easter!

It's Easter Eve.

Bob is out gathering all the goodies from my trunk for Easter baskets. I'm still trying to figure out:

a) why the Bunny? What does the resurrection of Christ have to do with a rabbit and
b) why the eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

Once I figure this out I'll let you all know.

Kid Cuisine

Is definately not kid friendly. Jessica spotted this little gem in the frozen food isle whilst shopping today. There was a yellow robot on the cover (from the movie, of course), and my 5 year old Prednisone fueld offspring nearly shot straight out of the shopping cart screaming like she just spotted Paul McCartney. I selflessly determined it would be better to spend the $3.95 on this little tray of mystery food items than to attempt to calm with Daffy Duck on steroids at checkout.

First off, I don't know why they call it Kid Cuisine. No kid can make this stuff. I can whip up a lasagne with less instruction. To nuke a Kid Cuisine you must perform about 47 steps, including but not limited to: using a dangerous, sharp object to surgically cut the plastic off everything but the corn (otherwise you might ruin the corn), removing and reinserting the "Nugget Shaped Breaded White Chicken Patties with rib meat", letting stand in the microwave for 2 minutes, not 1, not 3, but 2, and removing from your microwave with teflon coated space mits because "THE PRODUCT WILL BE HOT" (and they are not shitting you, I promise).

So after the 1 minute of nuking the macncheesestuffwithoutthefilm, the stuff that it supposed to be a brownie and the film covered corn, than the 2 mintues with the "Nugget Shaped Breaded White Chicken Patties with rib meat", then the 2 minutes (not 1, not 3, but 2 minutes) of sitting in the microwave so the exploded macncheese can set like tiny cement particles that cannot be removed with hydrychloric acid adhese themselves to my microwave door, we are ready to

um

frost the brownie.

Quoting babypred: "Mommy, I want to make a smiley face with the frosting".

Jim, don't read this.

FrostedBrownie looked a lot like a compilation of bodily excrements. Two specific excrements, both of which we have all seen and one which you may not want to admit that you have. I had to give her this weird concoction in the playroom, because honestly I couldn't watch her eat this. It looked more like a nightmare that Steve might have.

She actually ate most of the stuff, with the exception of the corn. Maybe I should
have taken the film off; I'm not sure. But hey if I'm lucky, maybe I'll win the prize advertized on the box: $1.00, that's right, a 1 in 100 chance of winning ONE DOLLAR off a child's movie admission to the Robot movie.

At least there's a cool Robot Card we can cut off the back of the box.

Where Did My Numa Numa Post Go?

I know I had a link to this retard somewhere. Hmmmm Skeetz did you delete it?

Chocolate, Eggs, Oil, Baby Batter!!!

I don't like liver, but if somebody put some in my sandwich I don't think I'd go to this extreme!

Got a Yellow Ribbon on Your Car?

Great- now do it!

How to Destroy The Earth

Really.

And you think I have too much time on my hands.

Silly Quotes from Silly Family Members

“The sign says exit only… where’s the entrance?”
-Bob, approaching Six Flags from the highway

“Um, the blind guy can walk into a wall?”
-Billy Jr., when asked what might go wrong on a blind date

“What’s a six-foot ball game?”
-Jackie, after being informed by Bob that there were six football games on TV

There are many more, I'll post them as I remember them.

What I've been reading this morning

Scott Ott's usual hysterical take on the news,

Cassandra properly beating the crap out of the NY Times, pedophiles and abortion advocates with one hand tied behind her back (I want to be her when I grow up, but probably won't ever grow up),

Greyhawk on war movies (and of course some moonbat commentary)

and Major Mike because he's a great American. Kevin, however, is an idiot ;-)

I have links to some interesting blogging that I'd like to share

but first I have an appointment with my beautician. 

Proof that there are too many journalists and not enough news!

Do you think anybody would seriously want a NFL jersey with "LESBIAN," on the back???? Well, other than Rosie O'Donnell!!! I guess we'll have to wait for somebody with that particular last name to come into the league.

Roadkill Killed

I heard about this on the news the other day.

TRENTON, N.J. (AP) - Production of candy shaped like roadkill has come to a screeching halt. The decision, announced Friday by Kraft Foods Inc., was the result of an outcry by New Jersey animal rights activists who said the candy encouraged children to be cruel to animals.

I don't get it... do they think kids are going to start running over chickens on their bikes, spin around and start nibbling on tire treaded carcass?

What about Gummy bears- do they encourage kids to eat bears? Swedish Fish? Lucky Charms? Are kids going to run around eating hearts and clovers and diamonds?

Sheer stupidity. No doubt Kraft buckled under because they didn't want the harassment:

"We take comments from our consumers really seriously and, in hindsight, we understand that this product could be misunderstood,"

said Kraft spokewimp Larry Baumann.

Well that quote really tells the story. We understand that it could be misunderstood. In other words, it's funny, unless you are a PC-hypersensitive animal rights activist.

I'll tell ya... the NJ ASPCA would have been horrified if they could see what happens on the grade-school playground. I knew a kid who would eat just about any bug you could find for a quarter.