Dems hoping for deadly winter

AP (I mean if it is from the AP, it HAS to be real), South Dakota - Tom Daschle, former House Majority Leader, recently spoke regarding the Democrats plan for the next 6 months. "Well, we were really hoping that Rita did much more damage so we could point out the fact that President Bush only responds quickly when there is a tragedy in his home state." Since that did not happen, the Democrats quickly had to re-focus their efforts and try to come up with an alternate plan to criticize the President.

"Well, we have to look at the bright side," stated Daschle on the phone from his posh South Dakota mansion, "we could have major snow storms that cause white-out's in red states and hopefully bring about pileups on their interstate's." Daschle also remarked, "Then, we can say that the President cannot truly care about his constituents or he would have gotten more warning and supplied that state with more road salt." "The more death and destruction, the better our position."

Daschle did remark that the Dems will continue to employ the same strategy of continuous criticism and not change to a strategy of producing their own solutions to issues. "Why would we try to fix anything?" Daschle asked, "the current policy of finger pointing is working." "The Presidents approval rating is way down according to the New York Times, The Village Voice, Ebony and the Gay and Lesbian Advocate!"

So, you want a conspiracy?

I apologize (again) for not contributing to this on a more regular basis, but I have been doing tons of research in my spare time to try and uncover on of the greatest political and genocidal conspiracies of all time. No, this conspiracy is not the conspiracy of the left wing media using natural disasters to take pot-shots at a standing President. Nor is it the conspiracy of that same media that tries to turn the public on its own military. No, this one reaches far deeper than those. It is the Chinese attempt to destroy the United States of America through an intriguing web of mathematically figured, stategically placed Chinese restaurants.

I wont get into all of the research findings just yet, but I can quote a few facts from the New England Journal of Medicine (I would footnote the date of the article, but I haven't yet figured out how in a blog to do so) that states that obesity has risen 39% since 1975. Ironically, 1975 was the year that will forever be known as "The year in which Chinese food became mainstream!" Being somewhat frugal people in nature, Chinese restaurants use to have the customer pay more for the white rice that is now given out for free. When asked why, Iron Chef first round loser Tommy Wha Chu said (under the strict condition of anonymity) that "Yes, the decision was made to give free rice when it was discovered that an overload of carbs and the already excruciating fat content of the food would destroy a human heart much faster!"

Tommy also states that the reason that the Chinese are doing this, is because the Chinese Government asked that Mr. Magoo reruns not be shown anymore in this country because many people would mis-interpret and them think that he is Chinese. He also states that there is also a finding that too much starch in a man's collar can slowly and chemically cause sterility. Putting this into context means that in the next 100 years, the Chinese will have 16 times the amount of children born than the US.

Hopefully, with the addition of several new Casino's, the deregulation of the tobacco industry, and further integration of their youth into urban society, we will be able to counter some of these measures.

More to follow..........I have to now go drive the fortune cookie truck to the restaurants to keep my cover..........

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The memorial sits about 1/2 mile up the road from where I live. 64 of the victims of 9/11 were from my county here in New Jersey.



They were construction workers, they were secretaries, they were businessmen, firefighters....



they were Marines.



The beams are actual pieces of the tower. When you get up close, you can almost imagine the horror of being trapped inside, or falling a hundred stories amongst the burning wreckage.



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Since the Mayan Calendar is coming to an end....

I have a new one! It includes a Friturday, and 4 leap days a year vs the one we get every four years. My Christmas wish is for more time... Who's with me?

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